Cycling-shorts: ever since I started using them to ride back and forth to work, people have mocked me. They look rubbish, they say, or They make you look like a shrink-wrapped rat, they say, when it’s been raining (and I have to admit I do resemble a shrink-wrapped rat).
But here’s the thing: I don’t care, because they protect my legs and make the ride comfortable. My friend Jed (who works for breast uplift UK, he wanted me to shamelessly plug) knows this now. He found out the hard way, after challenging me to a high-speed ride to work, him wearing jeans and me wearing my trusty cycling shorts.
Jed is one of those people who thinks he’s better at everything, you see. Jed doesn’t care about logic or anything; his pride does the talking, and when it comes to challenges there’s a hell of a lot of it.
I should also point out that Jed hadn’t ridden a bike in years when he set me this challenge. Even so, when he donned his trusty steed he seemed ridiculously over-confident. He swore blind that he would be fine in his jeans, even though it had started to rain.
The ride went well, and, staggeringly, Jed and his massive ego was impressive: Jed powered on, faster than me for most of the way (I let him, of course) and I only decided to thrash him on the last hundred metres. At the finishing line I waited for him to arrive, only something was wrong...In the distance I could see him walking next to his bike looking more like John Wayne than John Wayne.
When I arrived he didn’t look happy.
“What’s wrong, Jed?” I asked him.
He shook his head and peeled down his jeans.
“Now hang on a minute mate, what are you–” and before I could say anymore there it was, a massive blister on the inside of Jed’s leg. Not a blister, in fact. It was more like a pouch–
The moral of this story should be clear: don’t mock people with cycling shorts because you will live to regret it.
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