Make A Stand

I can’t eat Spaghetti Bolognese. It isn’t the sauce that’s the problem, and I don’t have an allergy, its not even because the only way to keep clean while eating it is practically wearing beach towels. It’s merely a conscious decision on my part: because I am hardcore. I can eat any other type of pasta, but when faced with this manky stuff I start to seize up and sweat. Don’t tell me I’m the only person who feels this way! I know it’s a classic, and I know that the effect of this post on an Italian could be disastrous, both physically and emotionally, but It needs to be said! Spaghetti is annoying. Just how did the inventor of it expect us to enjoy eating it?

Here’s my point: imagine if any other food was made so hard to eat: like miniature sandwiches. Imagine the outcry at building sites all over the world as grown men with hands the size of dinner plates were expected to eat sandwiches designed for mice? And then consider what would happen if someone decided to take the air out of Aeros–we simply wouldn’t stand for this! So how come spaghetti gets to be different from the rest, hu? Why should spaghetti get the special treatment when every other food has to be governed by the strict rules of common sense?

Catch my drift?

That’s why, when I was eleven, I boycotted spaghetti and haven’t looked back since. Did I regret it? No I did not. It made my life quicker, simpler, and altogether less painless. It made me embarrassed at a few dinner parties, but that’s beside the point. You can’t just go changing your game plan when things get tough. Sticking to your guns is all part of the deal: either stick to your guns or go to the dark-side people. Seriously, it’s your choice, but I do hope you know what you’re doing!