Breeders

A certain type of people are out there, out in the broad open daylight, and they are watching. They are, of course, those people who walk as if they have massive helium balloons attached to their shoulders at all times and they have nothing in the world to bother them and are the happiest people ever. And the worst part? It’s always the larger people who walk in this swaggering, aggravatingly smug way! It’s never the little people, oh no. And the second from worst thing is that they are usually walking slower than everyone else–as if to rub salt in to the wound and say “Look how light on my feet I am, not bad eh? Look at you, all sinking in to the ground and rubbish!”

OK, I understand this is quite an obscure grudge to bear with humanity, but everyone needs a grudge, don’t they? “A life lived without a good grudge”, as a wise man once said, “is not a life lived at all!”

I think the reason I have this grudge is because I don’t have any other grudges. I have, you see, this very upsetting (to other people) ability to not be frustrated with anything. Take last week for example, when my cat fell out of the window and died there and then: I wasn’t particularly grudge-bearing towards the fact that I had lost a life-long friend. No, I simply said, “shouldn’t leave the window open like that, oh dear” and got on with my day. Because of this the grudge I bear against those who walk as if with helium balloons attached is growing steadily, daily, in to a behemoth. And for that reason I must run as fast as I can whenever I see someone, anyone, walking or standing and holding a balloon or three. Because these people are even worse, especially those who are holding ten or more. With their feet being lifted from the ground ever so slightly, I find I must run or face the music, and scream!

I was doing some stuff online last week and I came across a webpage covering microdermabrasion treatment. I would like to point out that this is something I have never even ponder before this moment, but looking at it I can’t help but want to try it